I've been really emotional this week. Lots of feelings of sadness and loneliness. I have been trying my hardest to avoid these feelings and where they are coming from. So today when I saw my therapist, she highly encouraged me to journal and/or blog about it.
I guess both of those feelings go together. When I feel one, I feel the other. I feel like there is this empty space surrounding me and my heart flutters all the time (and not in a good way). I miss the closeness and the comfort provided by the girls and staff in treatment.
I really feel like crawling under my covers right now and crying. I guess I just wish I had more friends, more friends that lived here. I mean, my recovery is going well. I'm feeding my body and my brain. I am hopeful and moving forwards. Everything is good. I'm just lonely. And I KNOW everything is going to be okay, because it seems to be okay already. But I'm just sad, and I need a hug.
I'm not sure where this post is going. And I don't think I figured out where all these feelings are coming from other than the loneliness. Why am I so darn sad? Why do I feel so empty and deprived of comfort?
Things will get better, I guess.
Sending you a virtual hug right now. I think about you all of the time. You have a lot of friends that love you and care about you. We just live a little far away. That's all. Text or call me anytime! I love hearing from you. I think the loneliness you're feeling comes from not being around people who understand our struggle. I feel it too on most days and I also wish I were back at the ranch too. I've stopped expecting others to understand me and my relationship with ED. I miss you, love! XOXO
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