NEDA walk

Kathleen and I

Ashley, me and Michelle

I attended the 3rd Annual National Eating Disorder Awareness (NEDA) Walk in Charlottesville, Virginia yesterday. I left my house in Richmond at 8:15am and got there at around 9:30. The most nervewracking part of the day was driving there, and driving home. I hate driving places where I don't know exactly where I am going and have never been before. My dad wrote out the directions and I was pretty confident about it because it seemed pretty simple. And it was. I got a little lost, but called my dad and all I had to do was make a U turn and go a few blocks and I was there!

I met my two friends there from Remuda, Michelle and Ashley. It was SO good to see the both of them. The reunion was amazing, especially with Ashley, who I haven't seen since March. She gives the best hugs! We bought matching NEDA t-shirts and took some pictures. Then Kathleen MacDonald spoke. I heard her speak two weeks ago, but hearing her speak again yesterday still moved me to tears. She brought along her dog Gretz, who is a big part of her story. Then the walk started. It was a 5k through the grounds of the University of Virginia. The Fall foilage was beautiful. The weather was a little chilly, but once we started walking it warmed up. Ashley, Michelle and I reminisced about our days at Remuda Ranch, laughing at all the funny things that happened. Michelle's mom was there with us too and she was laughing at all of our stories as well. It felt SO good to laugh with true friends.

After the walk, it was time for lunch. In my opinion this was the most awkward part of the day, but sort of in a funny way. Food at an eating disorder awareness walk? Haha, I guess it makes sense though. It wasn't awkward for me though, I had no trouble eating my sandwich. But I could tell that other people around me were sort of nervous. After that, we just stood around talking and Kathleen took the microphone and made another little speech, again...so inspiring. The person who organized the walk also told a little bit of her story. It was so good to be in company of so many people who shared the some struggles and triumphs as me. Then, the organizer of the walk said that anyone who wanted to speak was welcome to come up and do so. The first person was a high school girl who recently got out of treatment a month ago. She shed tears and she spoke of the pain and misery she lived with for so many years, and shed even more tears as she spoke of how amazing she feels today. I ended up choking up as well. I remembered when I was that age and struggling with my ED and I really wanted to go up and talk to her and give her a hug because I just saw so much of myself in her. I didn't get a chance to do that, I wish I had. A couple other people came up and told their stories as well. And then...I went up there. Now, let me just tell you. I used to be terrified of public speaking. Terrified. And in some ways I still am. But I guess when it comes to sharing my story and hoping in some way to inspire people or get them to think or get help, I don't get all that nervous. If I had spoken in public a year ago, I would have peed my pants or had a panic attack. So anyway, I got up there and I said this (or at least something along these lines): "My name is Holly. I came up here from Richmond today. I have had an eating disorder for almost 9 years. I went to treatment at Remuda Ranch in Arizona when I was 15 for 4 months. I did well for a couple years, but slowly started to relapse. About a year ago I relapsed really bad and was struggling a lot. On February 10 of this year I was desperate to take my own life. I went to my therapist that morning and told her I needed help and that I was not safe. I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital for 5 days. On the day I was discharged I was admitted to Remuda Ranch in Virginia. I was there for 30 days and then transferred to the Remuda Life Program in Arizona for 14 days. So I have been home about 7 months. I am the healthiest and happiest I have ever been in my 23 years of life. I heard Kathleen speak two weeks ago and it was the most inspirational and moving thing I have ever heard in my life. I owe a lot to her. She sort of saved my life earlier this year and I am so thankful for her. (Kathleen started crying) I am so thankful for my friends that are here today, Ashley and Michelle. I am just so thankful for my family, my friends, and God, who have brought me to the place I am today. Full recovery is possible, for everyone." So that was my little speech. Suprisingly I wasn't all that nervous. My voice didn't shake, and I only stumbled with a couple of words. Kathleen took the microphone after I did said something about how I am a pro at sucking it up and just going at recovery. That made me smile, and humbled.

So after that I had a chance to speak to Kathleen. I gave her a journal entry that I actually shared on my blog a couple weeks ago after I heard her speak. I wanted her to have the hard copy. I told her I would definitely be in Washington D.C. in April for Lobby Day. Ashley, Michelle, and her mom also had a chance to speak to Kathleen too.

After that it was time to go home. It was sad leaving Michelle and Ashley, but we are all going to try and meet up around Christmas, along with a couple of our other friends from Remuda. The drive home was easy and I had no problems. I blasted my music and thought about all the amazing things I had witnessed that morning.

I woke up today still in awe and still inspired from yesterday. It was a great experience. If you ever have a chance to attend a NEDA walk, I highly encourage you to do so. Just simply amazing.

Well, that's all I have for now. I will update later on in the week!