- Therapy went much, much better this week. I'm so grateful for my therapist's support and understanding. I know she will see me through this hard time.
- I've been on the 20mg of Prozac for a week now. I don't feel any difference.
- I told my mom I am struggling with the eating disorder again. She of course emailed my therapist and is concerned/frustrated. But she isn't hounding me and prying me for answers, which I appreciate.
- Sleep continues to be an issue. I have a horrible time falling asleep, and then wake up at really early hours and can't go back to sleep. I take the Seroquel when I am desperate, but even by taking a half of 25mg pill, I feel like I have been run over by a truck the next day.
- Still purging. Still restricting. I took a caffeine pill yesterday. Bad, bad idea. I felt like my heart was going to jump outside of my body. I have not been following the plan my dietitian gave me. It scares me. Eating six snacks a day? I want to try it, I really do. But it scares me.
-Work is so boring and so miserable, and I really need to find the motivation to find a better job with better benefits.
- I'm sad. I feel lost. I feel broken. I feel...exhausted.
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i hate all of those feelings holly. im so tired of feeling shitty that im basically forcing myself to feel better, even if there's no reason to.
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