Anxiety

Looking back to when I was in elementary school and since then, I realize I have always struggled with anxiety. I was put on Prozac when I was in 3rd grade. I never realized that what I was struggling with was anxiety until I was admitted to Remuda Ranch at age 15 and they put me on all these anti anxiety meds and told me that anxiety was a problem for me. I used to think there was something wrong with my heart, why did it beat so fast and what was that sinking feeling in my stomach? I now know it was all anxiety. Ever since REALIZING my anxiety, it seems to be worse. Does that make sense? While at Remuda I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Agoraphobia. I've been put on tons and tons of anxiety meds. Basically all of them. And some of them worked, but then stopped working. This past November, I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, which has been really awful. Panic attacks, if you haven't had them before, are really miserable and scary. I realize that medications are not the answer to solving my anxiety. And I don't believe my anxiety will ever fully go away, but it HAS to get better. It has to. At best, my anxiety feels like a million butterflies in my stomach and I tremble. At worst, I feel like I could die. Of course, some days are better than others and I am thankful that it's not at its worst every single day. But honestly, and I don't mean to whine... I am so tired of anxiety. Something needs to change. A therapist once told me that if I had a job my anxiety would be so much better. Well, I have a job, but my anxiety is not "so much better". There are situational things in my life that are making it so bad right now, and then of course just the chemical imbalance or whatever you want to call it. I feel like even if things were going amazingly, I would still have anxiety, that everyday anxiety. So, even though I'm in therapy, even though I'm on a cocktail of anxiety meds, and even though I'm working and functioning, I'm as anxious as ever. For those of you that have struggled with anxiety, what have you found helpful? I have so much coping skills and self-talk and stuff like that, but there has to be something else. I'm tired.