Giving Thanks,

Well, I've been brainstorming ideas for this post for about a week. I think I am just going to make a list. I have SO much to be thankful for this year. I came so close to death many times this year, yet today I feel the most alive I have in 12 years.
This list is in no particular order.

1. My family: I don't really give them enough credit. They have loved me and supported me through my struggles this year. My parents took out a mortgage on their house to pay for Remuda Ranch. My sisters took out time from school and work to come to my Family Week. My dad pays for my health insurance and some other stuff too. But most of all I am thankful that they love me.

2. Two jobs. Having a job in America is a pretty cool thing right now. I work for an amazing family, nannying the three nicest kids. The parents are so amazing too. They all bring a smile to my face every time I see them, which is Monday through Friday. I also love my job at the resteraunt. It's like a big family there. Minus a couple people, I love my co-workers. My boss is amazing. I will never forget when I told my boss about being in the hospital and having to go away to treatment. He was so supportive and caring. And welcomed me back to work when I came home.

3. My support group. I started this support group at the beginning of the summer. It feels so good to be a part of a group of women who "get it". I come to this group every other Monday night and I just love it. I feel so loved and meaningful. I love supporting the other women as well, offering myself in any way they need me. My group leader is one of the most amazing people I've ever known. She's an old soul and I love her. This group has supported me during my hard times and applauded my successes.

4. My Soul Sisters. Also known as my Remuda girls, also known as my best friends. Also known as Erin, Michelle, Ashley, Jackie, Nikki, Lindsay, Buddy. Holy wow. I would not be doing as well as I am today without these girls. Not even close. They are my sunny days and my bright tomorrows. I love these girls more than anything in the world. I have never had such close, amazing, loving, best friends. Ever. Nothing compares to them.

5. My treatment team. My therapist, dietitian, and psychiatrist...there are just no words. I owe so much to them. They have believed in me every single step of the way. They haven't given up. They challenge me. They help me feel safe. They love me and cheer me on. On the days that I can't find the strength to be there for myself, they are there for me. I simply would not be alive today, had they not been a part of my life.

6. My dogs. They make my heart happy. My dogs don't care what I look like. They love me for who I am. They make me smile. They make me laugh. I love to snuggle with them. They make my soul happy.

7. My close friends, Heather, Karen, Jamie, Emily, Sarah. I love them. They have supported me and loved me through everything this past year.

8. Remuda Ranch. I am thankful that they helped give me my life back. I was truly blessed that my parents were willing to pay for me to go there. Those 45 days brought me back to life.

9. Kathleen MacDonald. Look her up. She's amazing and is my inspiration.

10. Recovery. I am thankful that I chose recovery, that I chose to live. I am thankful for 8 months of recovery. I am thankful for the hope that I will one day be recovered.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!