Frustrated

I'm having a difficult time lately. I'm having some physical issues going on. I think I'm having some sort of hormonal imbalance or some sort of menstrual disorder. I'm just experiencing really weird symptoms such as, irregular period, bloating, mood swings, hot flashes, nausea, etc. I see my gynecologist in two weeks anyway because I have a check up (which I am FREAKING out about) so if I'm still having issues I will ask her about it.

I'm also having a lot of nausea. Usually when I'm nauseous it's because I'm anxious. But, I really don't feel anxious. The nausea is preventing me from eating, which is so frustrating because I WANT to eat. I don't really have eating disordered thoughts at all. Which, is kind of strange but nice. I emailed my dietitian about it a couple days ago, because I was worried about my well-being before I see her tomorrow. And she has had me write down my food and write down whenever I get nauseous. I'm sure she might be thinking I have a food allergy, which I guess would be an easy fix. I'm actually scared there is something wrong with my stomach. I have most likely permanently damaged my stomach from my eating disorder. I already have IBS, and acid-reflux, but I just worry it's something else too. Because I've never been this nauseous, for this long.

I'm also frustrated with my sleeping habits. I'm a chronic insomniac, have been practically my whole life. I tend to stay up so late, losing track of time and end up falling asleep at 3am. It's so hard to get out of bed in the morning, and then I sleep alllll weekend. I know this is probably depression. But, it's still frustrating.

I'm dealing with a lot of trauma crap right now, but I don't feel like writing about it tonight. I have a headache, and I'm exhausted.

I can't wait for therapy on Thursday.