So now, the situation at work is finallly over. But it has triggered so much. And I'm scared still. I wish I wasn't so sensitive and didn't react in the ways that I do. ED is creeping back in. That sucks. I just wish it was all fixed. I want to feel content. I am thinking of saving up to get a tattoo. It would say "inner peace". That's ultimately what I strive for.

Yesterday wasn't such a good day. I woke up feeling anxious and that always means the day is going to be hard. I had the day off from work, so I went and bought lunch by myself. After I was done , all I wanted to do was purge. I was standing over the toilet when I whipped out my phone and texted my therapist. She told me to take a walk, and I did, but I was crying the whole time. I just wanted my anxiety to go away so bad, and purging always helps with that. It was so frustrating. So I was sort of weird the rest of the day, and was having a lot of flashbacks and unsafe feelings. And by night time, I as emotional and feeling scared and shaky from memories and flashbacks. Idk, I just felt bad. And then I took too much Seroquel and slept way too long and was like a zombie all day today. I'm stressed about money, I don't have any. I cannot wait for therapy on Friday. I think I'm just going to curl up in a ball on her couch.