So, two natural disasters in 1 week? Pretty cool, I'd say. First it was the earthquake on Tuesday, and aftershocks the two following days, and now a hurricane is supposed to hit late tonight/tomorrow. I have to work this weekend so hopefully the power will go out at the restaurant and I won't have to work! We had a pretty big storm last night, but probably nothing compared to what we are going to get. Although, it's really not a big deal. At worst we will probably have power outages and wind damage. But when I went to the grocery store today and couldn't find a place to park and the lines were out the door, I wanted to scream at these people that they were idiots. This isn't the apocalypse. It is a storm. Get over it.
I had therapy yesterday. I guess it went well. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to talk about, until the very end. I briefly brought up trauma stuff, which I came to regret. I have come SO far with my trauma. My flashbacks have decreased so much and I no longer think about it every day. But whenever I talk about it, my brain shuts down. And it's like I experience a tsunami of emotions. It makes me frustrated. I just want to move on from it. But I also am scared, for reasons that are so complicated I am not going to even bother writing about. But, even with the discouragement, I remain hopeful.
My anxiety has been pretty high today. Obsessing over every single thing, which makes me really cranky and short tempered. It's really frustrating and annoying, not just for me, but everyone around me. I just want to feel comfortable in my skin.
Next week is going to be pretty jam packed, which is good. Monday night I am starting my new group. Tuesday night I have the last session of my other group. Wednesday I am working the lunch shift, and Wednesday night I see my dietitian. Thursday morning I have therapy, and Thursday afternoon I see my psychiatrist. And then that weekend I am possibly taking the train up to Maryland to see Erin and hopefully, my friends Ashley and Jackie.
Anyway, that's about it. Not much going on right now.
People freak out for small things! Funny that us with anxiety seem to always be prepared and when something like a hurricane comes flying through we just kind of roll with it!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry your anxiety is high, but it's normal. And it will eventually pass, but man it sucks in the moment. I
I hate it when I have nothing to say at the beginning of therapy and then start talking at the end! I do this quite a bit!
Hope you get to take the train to see your friend!