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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

with or without you

Well, things are going pretty good. Well actually, it's been kind of hard lately. I'm struggling with meals, but it's not terrible. Yesterday I had a little bit of a low blood sugar attack, but I ended up being fine. Ugh, anyway, I don't want to focus on the bad. I told my therapist today that I get so frustrated because it seems like I have really, really good days and then bad days. I wish every day was good, but I know life is not like that. I just have to remember to do what's healthy and best for me, as hard as it is. My body image has not been as bad, which is a plus. I think it's because I'm working out more. I feel sooooo good about myself when I work out. Exercise is in my blood. I don't know why I deprived myself of it for the past several months. I guess I was scared I would go over board with it. But I don't think that will happen. I see my dietitian on Monday and I really want to be like...I'm not going to look at my weight anymore. But I just really need to know that it doesn't continue to go up. I'm going to discuss this with my dietitian though. I also want to make some menus, hoping that will make meals easier.

I got the nannying job! I am SO excited! I start September 6th. I already know the family. I coached the 3 kids in diving this summer. The youngest, a boy, is 8. And the other two are girls, age 12 and 14. I will be mostly taking care of them after school. I will work my hostessing job from 11-1:30 and then go across the street to pick them up from their bus stop. And then the days they don't have school for like a holiday or teacher work-day, I will be there from 8:30am until 5:30pm. The kids are so sweet and so nice, and the mom is really nice too. She keeps saying how excited she is that I am going to be taking care of her kids.

My little sister leaves for her first year of college tomorrow morning. It's so crazy. I know she is going to have the time of her life and I am so excited for her! But it's going to be kind of lonely without her here! She will be about an hour and a half away, so it's not too bad, but it will be the longest she has ever been away from home. Her boyfriend left for college yesterday. I will miss him too, since he is practically my brother.

One of my best friends, who I have mentioned in my blogs a lot in the past, is moving to Los Angeles on Friday. Yes, I will miss him. But I also feel...relieved. I can't really explain it. I guess I feel like I won't have this messy, complicated, burden on my shoulders. No disrespect to him, it's just going to be better for me. And I know moving to L.A. is his dream and so I'm really happy that he is living it out.

I am going to the river this weekend at my dad's friends river house. I am super excited to get out of town and spend the weekend on the river. They have a boat and we will go tubing and have yummy food. It's going to be really relaxing!


Anyway, that's it for now!

2 comments:

  1. I'm so happy to hear that things are looking up for you. I know it may be hard for you to see, but you are such a beautiful woman, inside and out, regardless of what your weight may be. I am really happy that you are feeling better about yourself with the addition of exercise back in your life. After hearing your life story at Remuda and learning how big a part of your life sports were, I couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for you to not exercise. I'm really proud of you for recognizing that there may be the temptation to over-exercise and having the strength to distance yourself from that so you could stay on the upward road to recovery.
    I'm so excited for you to start your nannying job! I think it will be really good for you. I also hope that by taking care of these kids that you will learn that you need to also take of yourself all day, every day (since you've been having some trouble with finishing your meals lately). I know that you'll do fabulously and that the kids will love you- how could anyone not?
    I hope that Martha has a good time at college; I know you'll give her guidance as she goes through this huge transition in her life.
    Well that's all I really have to say for now, though. I hope you and michelle and ashley can come visit next month!

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