Baby steps

Geez, is tomorrow really Thursday already? This week has flown by. And I'm like not even sure how to evaluate how this week has gone so far.

I think as far as food goes, I have done pretty well. Maybe not as well as last week, but nothing significantly worse either. I have had breakfast every morning (still in love with greek yogurt with fruit). I have had lunch every day too, as well as dinner. But, my appetite has decreased a lot and it has made eating very difficult. At times it feels physically impossible to take another bite. I'm not sure why my appetite has gone away so much, it could just be stress.

Which leads me to my next paragraph. Stress. This week has just been so stressful. I just feel like I have so many things to do, and not enough time. I work all day and by the end of the day I just want to crawl in bed, but I have to go to the bank and the grocery store and the bookstore and my parent's house and I have to exercise and do laundry and clean and write emails and make phone calls. I've been very on edge and bitchy. And then I feel really overwhelmed with everything, and that brings on lots of urges to b/p. But I haven't! Which is what is important. And it's good that I can recognize what makes me have those urges and be able to stop myself from acting out.

I've really been upping my game on the positive self-talk, which is something my therapist is always urging me to do. My face is breaking out right now, and most of today I would look in the mirror and just feel disgusted, but I had my moments today when I looked in the mirror and I said to myself, I am beautiful. It helps! It's not a fix, but I think if I keep it up then maybe I will start to believe it! I ordered a body image workbook on Amazon that my therapist and dietitian told me about, hopefully that will help too!

I am really excited because....I signed up for an eating disorder awareness walk next weekend. And my two (maybe 3) best friends from Remuda are coming too! The woman who I heard speak at the event last week will be speaking at this walk too so I'm excited to catch up with her! I've never done an ED walk before so I'm excited for this.

Well, I have therapy tomorrow and my dietitian on Friday so I will check back in on Friday or Saturday and update then!