flashback.

I was in my parent's backyard yesterday, playing with my dogs. I walked by a bush and one of the branches brushed my neck, it scared me, jolted me. It also made me have a flashback. At first I was confused as to why it made me have a flashback, but then I realized it was the surprising touch, unwanted touch, that sent me back in time. I still can't believe sometimes, what happened. I guess since I blocked so much of it out for so many years, it's still difficult to accept. But I know it happened, I know it's real. I don't know when, or if, I will ever remember all of it, be able to piece it all together. I don't know if that's the way to go or not. I just know that at some point...I want to heal from it. I know it's possible. But it feels so far away.