Comfort

Sorry if this is cheesy or strange.
It's how I feel (which tends to be cheesy and strange).

It seems forever that I have felt this way. That I have had this insatiable craving to be comforted. I crave for someone to hold me. To rub my back, stroke my hair, and just hold me. And not for two minutes, but for a long time. It sounds so safe and warm. I did not get many hugs and "I love yous" when I was growing up, unless I did something really great. Maybe that is why I crave it so much. And I know every human being craves physical comfort and touch, but I feel like I crave it more than the average person. Maybe because I have never been in a relationship, maybe because I have never been with someone. Because I don't have many friends. Because I spend 50% of my time isolating alone in my house. Because I was hurt when I was younger and now I crave safe touch. I don't expect this comfort to just fall in my lap. I know it does not work like that. You have to find it and ask for it. I know I cannot continue to whine about this and expect it to just happen. I have to put myself out there.

I keep wanting to say..."but it's hard and scary, and I don't know how".
I need to delete those words and sayings from my life. I just need to do it. Now.