I am now on day 1 of no self harm. I feel much better tonight. I texted my therapist today and told her about it. I was really nervous that she was going to get mad. But she wasn't. She was really concerned though. She helped me put together a plan for tonight to stay safe. I had dinner by myself tonight, instead of with my parents...because they have been stressing me out lately. I went to the library and got some new books, then I went to the grocery store and got dinner and some other things I needed, and now I'm sitting on the couch watching Law and Order. I suddenly got really tired when I sat down, and the day is catching up with me. I had a full day of work. My shift at the restaurant wasn't too busy, and then today with the kids was pretty easy. The youngest one made me play football and basketball with him, which I am sure is one of the reasons I am so tired. And then me and one of the girls made chocolate chip cookies from scratch which were delicious! So, it was a good day.
I am really thankful for the support from Erin last night. I wished I would have texted her before I self-harmed, but I am glad she was there for me afterwards. I don't have many people I can tell those things too. I am glad she understands on some level.
Tomorrow should be a good day. I have a massage in the morning which I am SO looking forward to. My friend Karen is giving me the massage and so it will be good to see her and talk to her as well. I know her words will help me feel better. That's really the only exciting thing happening tomorrow, but it should be enough to get me through the day.
Wednesday is going to be boring. Thursday I have therapy (thank God) and Friday should be boring too. But this weekend I am going out of town with my family and I am SO excited. I can't even explain the place because it is so wonderful. It's called The Homestead. But it's a 5 star resort in the mountains with a spa, indoor and outdoor pool, horseback riding, tea time (yes, they schedule a time for tea), really beautiful scenery, and super comfortable bed. It's going to be great!
Anyway, that's it for now!
I am so proud of you beyond words, Holly. It is great that you were able to muster up the courage to talk to your therapist today, I know how hard that must have been. You will have to let me know how your massage goes tomorrow, it is coming at the absolute best time, I must say! I'm sure you will love it. What you need the most is to just relax and unwind. Your trip this weekend should be wonderful. I have always wanted to go to a place like you have described and I am sure you will have so much fun and just get away from everything. You will definitely have to take some pictures! I am so happy that you reached out to me last night. It's so great that you are able to talk to someone when you are struggling, even though it may be just through texting. Anything helps. I am so thankful that I have you to talk to, also. You are the first one I text whenever something is bothering me and I know that you will always have just the right thing to say.
ReplyDeleteLet's keep things going and make tomorrow Day 2 :)
Keep up the good work, Holly :)