Hello Fall!

So, three hours ago I was playing basketball with one of the kids I babysit and I was sweating because it was so muggy and hot out. Well since then it has dropped about 20 degrees. It feels so nice outside! I am so happy Fall weather is here! I am so sick of the humidity! And my summer clothes really don't fit that well anymore so it's nice to wear the new clothes I bought.

Waking up this morning was SO hard. I felt like I was waking up from a coma. It sucked! I had an appointment with my gynecologist and 9:30am. I got an ultrasound to check on my ovarian cysts. They are still there but not as big and seem to be going away, so that's good! Then I met with my doctor after the ultrasound to go over it. She is so awesome. She knows my history of my eating disorder and my abuse, so she is very understanding and caring, as well as sensitive to my feelings. She's great and it's always good to see her. Even though it's not under the most...uh...exciting of circumstances.

After the doctor, I went to Starbucks to hang out before my therapy appointment. It was so freaking loud in there and I want to scream at everyone. Obviously my anxiety was a little high. So then I went to therapy and...it was SO good to see her. Before I sat down I asked for a hug, which is hard for me to do. But I am so glad I did it, because I really needed it. We pretty much covered everything that has happened over the past two weeks. We talked about the feelings that are being brought up about my abuse. A person who I was pretty involved with last year has shown up on Facebook and seeing his picture has sort of re-traumatized me. So I have been having more flashbacks and nightmares lately. So I made the decision with the help of my therapist to block him on Facebook and delete his number from my phone. I don't care if he gets pissed of, which he probably will. It's his loss, not mine. I am just so done with the drama and chaos. My therapist also recommended that I get a massage. She thinks it will help with my body image issues and the feelings of neediness and wanting comfort that I have been having. So, I made an appointment to get one on Tuesday. I am realllly looking forward to it!

This is pathetic. It's 8pm and I am ready for bed. Who am I? I am just so tired. I must need sleep because everytime The Lion King 3D commercial comes on TV I start crying. I need to get it together. But that movie is just so damn sad.

Okay, that's all I have for now.