fabulous weekend

What a great weekend I had to turn around such a horrific week. I took the train up to Maryland to visit my friend Erin. I got there around 1pm and we went downtown with her mom to get some lunch at a really cool restaurant called The Tasting Room. I had a cheeseburger, and it made me really full, but I felt like I did a pretty good job with it. After that we walked around downtown a little more. It was a very cool place, with lots of neat shops and restaurants. After that, we went back to her house and hung out until it was time for dinner. We went downtown at a great Mexican place called La Paz. While we were waiting for a table, Erin and I had spontaneously decided to walk down the street and get a piercing. We both got our tragus pierced. I have wanted this piercing for a few months, and I am so glad I got it. I didn't think it was going to hurt that bad because my cartilage piercing didn't hurt a bit, and neither did my tattoo. And I normally have a very high pain tolerance from being beat up in sports all my life. But dear lord, this hurt like a bitch. I think what made it worse was that I tensed up. It was throbbing all throughout dinner and I thought I was going to be a sick, but after a couple hours the pain went away and it feels fine now.

After dinner, Erin and I headed to the hookah bar where we stayed until about 1am. That was really fun, even though we sat with some questionable people, and I almost got kidnapped and murdered by this random 40 year old (okay, not really). But it was pretty sketchy. We even saw a fist fight outside and the cops showed up. Too bad we couldn't have seen more action since we were inside the hookah bar when it was happening. I started getting really tired around 12am, but stuck it out because I really was having a good time. We went back to her house and watched Chelsea Lately, and I fell asleep around 3am. Erin woke me up around 10am, and she and her Mom made breakfast. It was really good and I was really proud of myself for listening to my hunger cues and eating it! After breakfast, I showered and we went to the puppy store at the mall and played with this really cute, soft, but hyper puppy. We also went downtown again and stopped in at this cool store that had lots of neat stuff. By the time we got back to her house and had lunch, it was time for me to leave to take the train back home. The train right back wasn't too bad because I had no one sitting next to me and the car I was in was quiet. But I was freezing, and they kept blowing the damn horn every 2 minutes. Do you really need to blow the horn when you are in the middle of nowhere?

Anyway, it feels good to be back home, but I am getting increasingly nervous about starting my new job and and stress that I will be taking on. My anxiety has been coming out in pretty irritating ways. I am obsessed over my body. I find no satisfaction with what I look like what-so-ever. I cannot even describe how huge my stomach is. I want to cry thinking about it. My OCD has reared it's ugly head and it's really miserable. My psychiatrist increased my Prozac, and gave me the lowest dose of Xanax for situations when I really need it.
I can't think too much about the thoughts and obsessions swirling in my head or else my heart beats rapidly and I start having self-harm urges and my eyes fill with tears. Because of my new schedule starting this week, and my therapist's kids starting back at school as well, we do not have time to have a session this week. This makes me even more nervous. I know I can call her though.

Bahhhh, anyway. I need to relax and get in my bed and just chill.