the picture

So, this is the picture I was talking about in my last post. This was on my last day at Remuda. I love this picture. The picture is sort of blurry, but to me...I can tell I am glowing. My cheeks are red. I am tan from the Arizona sun. I am smiling...a real smile. Inside I was sad to be leaving my girls and the staff, but I felt free. I look at my body...I think I look good. I look healthy. I look secure in my skin. I wish you could see my eyes better, but I know they were glowing too. Maybe it's the way the sun was hitting us when the picture was taken, but I see light radiating off me. I feel warm inside when I see this picture. I feel peace and I feel hope. I am 100% healthy in this picture. I am 100% nourished. It is possible again, to get back there. I was 15 years old in this picture. I was so young, when I think about it. I have grown so much since then, but in so many ways...fallen back so far into my ED. I need to grow again, and stay there.

I have another blog post I want to write. But I will save it for tomorrow. It is a much more positive post, more positive than the ones I have been writing.