The other night I wanted to end it all. I don't feel that way anymore, not to that extreme. But I am frustrated. I recognize what I need to change in my life...and yet I feel like I don't have it in me to do it. I want it...I want to change. But I literally feel stuck. I am so irritated.
Move on, let it go.
What if I am not able to? What if there is something wrong with me, that it's not possible for me to move on and let it go.
Is it really as simple as walking away?
I just feel like something is wrong with me. I don't remember ever NOT feeling that way.
I've cried the past 4 days. Now I'm all bottled up again.
This is so wrong. I am so wrong.
i am feeling the exact same way, serriously, your post mirrors my mind. mail me if you want to chat. xx
ReplyDeleteHolly, you are a beautiful, capable, young woman, with a whole world of possibility ahead.
ReplyDeleteAs I mentioned the other day, maybe your therapy needs to come away from the trauma and focus on re-stabilising you.
I understand the need to deal with our past, but if it is triggering us to this extent in our present, it is futile.
You have everything to live for and you can get well.
Sometimes we need to hold back, focus on the practical, stabilise and then move on.
There is a choice in that xxxx
You are NOT wrong. You are human. No human is perfect. I've felt similar and going to sleep just not wanting to wake up or not caring if i did or not. You can do this...you can beat those thoughts.
ReplyDeletexoxo
-lisa
Sheesh..girl this is rough.
ReplyDeleteI can echo Fi's comment because I am a flipping hot sticky messy glump of yuck.
I'm just trying to remember that GOD LOVES US!!!!
Because he does. There is love in the universe...people love you....there are people you love...makes life worth living...worth fighting for.
~Missy