day 3

So my therapist doesn't hate me. I thought she did after I texted her saying I had purge I knew that in the back of my head, that she didnt hate me. I think I was putting the hatred I felt at myself on her. I know she was dissapointed though. She has every right to be. We work so hard in therapy on healthy self-talk and coping skills. And I just threw them out the window that night. But I am on day 3 of no purging, so it's back to the beginning.

I can do this.

I mentioned in a post earlier about how much music affects me and helps me. I am always discovering new music. My favorites lately are Tori Amos, Dar Williams, Suzanne Vega, and Lady Antebellum. I discovered Tori Amos's cover of "Landslide" yesterday and oh my gosh, I am in love. It's my favorite all time song. I love Fleetwood Mac's version and Dixie Chick's, but this is my new favorite.

I work the next 4 days. Off Sunday, work Monday, off Tuesday, Repeat. I can do this. I just have to take it one shift at a time, not think ahead to the next day, try and get plenty of rest, and just breathe. That's my new motto, Just Breathe. I need a tattoo of it or something.

Writing on this blog has been so therapeutic. And I am thankful for the people that offer me support. My life lately has been full of stressors, but I hope to be in some sort of state of peace soon. But knowing what I am about to work on in therapy, that won't be the case anytime soon. Maybe I need to write more positive and uplifting stuff.

Anyway, time to get ready for work.